Building Your Chosen Family

There's a question childfree people hear a lot: "But who will take care of you when you're old?"

It's a question that assumes family only comes in one form. But for millions of people, the most meaningful relationships in their lives aren't with biological relatives—they're with the people they've chosen.

What Is Chosen Family?

Chosen family refers to the people in your life who function as family—providing love, support, and belonging—regardless of biological or legal ties.

For childfree adults, chosen family often becomes especially important. Without children to form the "next generation," we build our support networks differently. And honestly? Many of us find that incredibly freeing.

The Science of Connection

Research consistently shows that the quality of our relationships matters far more than the type. A landmark Harvard study that followed participants for over 80 years found that close relationships—not money, fame, or achievement—were the strongest predictor of happiness and longevity.

The key word is "close." Not "biological."

How to Build Your Chosen Family

Building deep connections as an adult takes intentionality. Here's what works:

Show Up Consistently

The most reliable predictor of friendship is repeated, unplanned interaction—what sociologists call "proximity." As adults, we have to create this intentionally. Join groups. Attend regularly. Be the one who shows up.

Go Beyond Surface Level

Acquaintances become friends when you share vulnerabilities. Take small risks in conversation. Ask deeper questions. Share something real about yourself.

Invest in Maintenance

Relationships need tending. Schedule regular check-ins. Remember important dates. Be there for the hard moments, not just the fun ones.

Find Your People

It's easier to build deep connections with people who share your values and lifestyle. Surrounding yourself with others who "get it" removes a layer of translation and explanation from every interaction.

You're Not Alone

One of the most isolating parts of being childfree can be feeling like you're the only one. The friend groups that slowly become all about kids. The family gatherings where you're the odd one out. The assumption that something must be missing from your life.

But here's the thing: there are millions of us. Literally tens of millions. We're everywhere—you just might not know it yet.

Building Connection at Scale

This is part of why we're building Chosn. Not just for dating, but for finding your people. Your hiking partners. Your travel companions. Your ride-or-dies.

Family isn't who you're born to. It's who you choose.